I am less than a day from officially declaring this website live. It has been a battle inside of me, whether I should describe myself as a composer now. I am a musician. I play the guitar. I am not yet brilliant at it. I can muddle my way through a piano, and have been singing for most of my life. I can also play the flute okay. I can read notes, and I do compose. I own Logic, and spend lots of quality time on it.
Here is the problem. I am not quite yet ready to publish. Yet, making music, especially making my own music is an essential part of who I am. I never had rock star dreams or even musical ambitions. Music is simply an essential part of who I am. Not in the way I see it is for many people. I don’t have music playing all the time. I don’t have any strong opinions about specific bands or types of music.
My relationship to music is as intricately tied to my writing and my film/photography work. I can’t write without music. I imagine the music first, and then I see the image. I need the music to express the words. The music can come from any range of styles. Sometimes it is 1970’s rock. Sometimes it is rap. Sometimes is Mexican rock. Many times it is classical music. Every screenplay I have written, every book I have written, every little piece of writing I have done usually has a soundtrack before it begins. When I shot the movie I still need to finish, I had a specific soundtrack as part of character development even on set.
The strange aspect of this obsession is that I never share my music. It has been deeply private. I finally had a guitar teacher start working with me to see if I could play in a more public space (two people in a room). Still how could I build a website that defines me as an artist and not include music? Will my music be posted alone here on the website? Probably not. My own creations will begin as small exercises within my visual work.
When my web design asked me what I would like to put in this section, I decided a blog would be ideal. My intention is to share music lists, research on music, exercises I am enjoying, and even some thoughts on music as part of my creative process. This is the first of those blogs.
If you ask whether composer should be on the front of the website, please read here why I felt it should be an essential part of who I am.